How to Make a House a Home

How to develop your décor taste and confidence to help you create a home which is both original and authentic

I love it when this community asks me anything, especially when it is on my Mastermind specialist subject: shelter, property, an English woman’s house is her castle. Today’s essay comes from a request on Chat about finding and following your own taste in your home. Earlier this year, I published a book about creating temporary yet elevated décor in rental properties and I cover this subject in several ways across its pages. But I wanted to write something broader and relevant to all kinds of abodes, be it a flat you own or a palace you rent. 

I’m going to start at a very top level and work my way into more practical and tangible advice. Before you even type your search into Rightmove, there is so much you can do to cultivate your décor taste. I’m sure you’re already doing some of them like following incredible home influencers on Instagram and perhaps on Substack (see my list of favourites at the end of this essay). My saved folder on Instagram is chocca with home imagery—so much saved for ‘one day’. I also take photos everywhere I go and have a running home inspiration image folder on my iPhone. Any space, any artwork, any interesting wallpaper or bathroom configuration. I do it everywhere, it is probably slightly intrusive. 

The issue with this all of course is a) you end up with a huge glut of ideas which can be confusing and b) it’s inherently derivative. Now the latter point may not bother you at all and that’s great. My personal take on it is that a truly stylish home is always authentic to the family that lives under its roof. And imitation, while flattering, isn’t essentially authentic. Even when we copy someone else’s look closely, it never looks the same as the original. There is always something ersatz about it, lacking both heart and soul. Perhaps it’s going a little deep, but I would always think it was better to make a style choice that felt right to you rather than right for the algorithm or what so and so influencer did (and this absolutely includes me).

This of course, requires confidence building and in order to do that you’re going to have to take some risks, some of which might not go quite as well as you hoped. It also means becoming deeply comfortable with the reality that not everyone will like your taste or indeed your home. A lot of people like my style… and a lotta people don’t. I am so at peace with that. Some of my closest friends would hate to live in spaces that I’ve decorated. Too busy, too much colour, too much art, too much random shit everywhere. I love having a home that looks like an apothecary of curiosities with mementos from my life placed intentionally in its rooms. That is my style personality and I am assured in my own taste. But that has taken a lot of practice and experience. I will be honest and say I’ve always implicitly had a level of confidence with my own eye, but obviously, when I was younger there were times when I felt less sure of myself and would find myself leaning on other people’s taste to furnish my own. I was particularly this way with fashion and I definitely went through a very copycat phase. But as I began to give less fucks in general, particularly when I realised other people’s opinions of me (especially those that don’t know me) aren’t my business, I was able to relax and lean into my own taste, cultivated over a lifetime.

That’s all well and good, but how does one actually discern what they do and don’t like? Here I’m going to give you my take on it, which isn’t definitive, but will hopefully have some kernel which helps you in the future. I often find it is easier to work out what I don’t like and I use that as the primary filter to whittle down the whole world of stuff. This isn’t an inclusive list and I’m sorry if I’m attacking your personal darlings—I’m not saying this is a list of things that are bad taste, they’re just not my taste. Ok… here we go. Canary yellow, Prince purple, 1970s wallpaper and fabric prints, Pop Art, anything with animals or cartoons, traditional 17th century style landscapes, grey carpet, carpet in general, posters of Marilyn or Audrey, rooms with totally bare walls and no art, excessively neutral or minimal spaces, too much furniture, especially in different wood grains (pine, walnut, teak and mahogany all at once), ‘live, laugh, love,’ fridge magnets, Air BnB exposed brickwork, wire overhead lampshades (why bother?), scatter cushions in lime, fuchsia or turquoise when the rest of the room is grey or beige, metal blinds, lots of antiques without any kind of twist, paint colours without a slightly sallow tinge, buy one get four free frame clusters, mason jars… I could honestly go on and on, but you get the gist.