This really resonates with me - I too am a naturally productive person, I just thrive on getting shit done, always have. But I’ve struggled since having kids, currently aged 4 and 2 - and have realised it’s because I’m permanently sleep deprived. My kids are terrible sleepers and I really beat myself up about not having the same drive and energy I had before - reading your article has made me realise why - I’m knackered!!
It is one of those unseen things in life - quality and quantity of sleep are such a huge advantage, which for some people just comes naturally. I have a few girlfriends that suffer with insomnia and it has such an outsize impact on the colour of their life, far beyond just productivity. And restless kids basically turn you into an insomniac! Sending you so much love, xxxx
I loved this so much! Always seem to end up with a fizzy nose at the end of your pieces because each one seems to resonate & gets me thinking, thank you for being so open 🧡
I do watch some tv, but not loads. I find I just end up on my phone which is the opposite of relaxation for me as its a professional space! The best way for me to relax is to do something which takes both hands and is meditative - like sewing or knitting, or working with clay. Its that repetitive, tactile thing that seems to calm me the most xx
My own productivity also stems from a single mother who worked ridiculous hours and still managed to entertain 2 kids solo almost every weekend, gym on a daily basis and maintain other relationships. But I guess the peril is that so much of your identity becomes informed by your level of productivity, and when you are seemingly idle, the self-doubt creeps in. What else do I have to offer other than constantly doing?
I feel this in my marrow too. It's that feeling of being in perpetual motion. On the flip side, I do also feel like we have one life, why not rinse it dry of experience and opportunity... though a nice balance to smell the roses would obviously also be ideal!
This is such a refreshing and original piece of writing. None of us should have to apologise for who we are and how we function, just as we shouldn’t compare ourselves - an absolute hiding to
nothing - and shouldn’t judge how others tick. Really well said. That said, I’m SO impressed particularly by your DIY skillz…
🤣 I just did a version of Ferber method - easier with the pump-fed babe than the breastfed one. I always maintain you have to get to breaking point to be able to manage the night or two of tears and every adult needs to be on the same page 🤣xx
Thanks for this. Yeah, we've done a bit of sleep training and it's so brutal! You definitely have to tag team and lean on each other. Genuinely happy that some mums manage to get sleep - makes me feel like it will happen one day. Great piece, really thoughtfully written. xx
This was really interesting to read. I also tend to squeeze a lot into my days and it gets commented on often - the phrase “I don’t know how she does it” is an ongoing joke between me and my husband when ever it comes up!
I’d say I’d don’t spend much time doing things I don’t enjoy so maybe that helps? I love my job, exercising (another reformer fan here), cooking meals, travelling etc so I rarely feel like I need or want to slow down.
It makes a massive difference having a partner that is 50/50 on childcare though, my kids are teens now and my husband has always done at least his fair share, often more as I travel for work. He’s also very productive although funnily enough no one ever asks him how he gets it all done 🤨
I absolutely agree with the not spending that much time doing things you don't like! Productivity doesn't seem like a burden to me, because its really just doing my hobbies and exploring my interests. Its almost self indulgent when you look at it like that (!!)
...I haven't heard many men talk about the perils of having its all...
I think this is one of the most interesting - and honest - takes on productivity I've ever read. Thank you!
This really resonates with me - I too am a naturally productive person, I just thrive on getting shit done, always have. But I’ve struggled since having kids, currently aged 4 and 2 - and have realised it’s because I’m permanently sleep deprived. My kids are terrible sleepers and I really beat myself up about not having the same drive and energy I had before - reading your article has made me realise why - I’m knackered!!
It is one of those unseen things in life - quality and quantity of sleep are such a huge advantage, which for some people just comes naturally. I have a few girlfriends that suffer with insomnia and it has such an outsize impact on the colour of their life, far beyond just productivity. And restless kids basically turn you into an insomniac! Sending you so much love, xxxx
I loved this so much! Always seem to end up with a fizzy nose at the end of your pieces because each one seems to resonate & gets me thinking, thank you for being so open 🧡
Very interesting! I'd love to know how you truly relax?! Do you ever veg out in front of the TV.. ?
I do watch some tv, but not loads. I find I just end up on my phone which is the opposite of relaxation for me as its a professional space! The best way for me to relax is to do something which takes both hands and is meditative - like sewing or knitting, or working with clay. Its that repetitive, tactile thing that seems to calm me the most xx
My own productivity also stems from a single mother who worked ridiculous hours and still managed to entertain 2 kids solo almost every weekend, gym on a daily basis and maintain other relationships. But I guess the peril is that so much of your identity becomes informed by your level of productivity, and when you are seemingly idle, the self-doubt creeps in. What else do I have to offer other than constantly doing?
I feel this in my marrow too. It's that feeling of being in perpetual motion. On the flip side, I do also feel like we have one life, why not rinse it dry of experience and opportunity... though a nice balance to smell the roses would obviously also be ideal!
This is such a refreshing and original piece of writing. None of us should have to apologise for who we are and how we function, just as we shouldn’t compare ourselves - an absolute hiding to
nothing - and shouldn’t judge how others tick. Really well said. That said, I’m SO impressed particularly by your DIY skillz…
Thanks so much for your honesty and for sharing this. And can I have your sleep trainer’s number!?
🤣 I just did a version of Ferber method - easier with the pump-fed babe than the breastfed one. I always maintain you have to get to breaking point to be able to manage the night or two of tears and every adult needs to be on the same page 🤣xx
Thanks for this. Yeah, we've done a bit of sleep training and it's so brutal! You definitely have to tag team and lean on each other. Genuinely happy that some mums manage to get sleep - makes me feel like it will happen one day. Great piece, really thoughtfully written. xx
Thank you for this. A very honest piece 💕💕
This was really interesting to read. I also tend to squeeze a lot into my days and it gets commented on often - the phrase “I don’t know how she does it” is an ongoing joke between me and my husband when ever it comes up!
I’d say I’d don’t spend much time doing things I don’t enjoy so maybe that helps? I love my job, exercising (another reformer fan here), cooking meals, travelling etc so I rarely feel like I need or want to slow down.
It makes a massive difference having a partner that is 50/50 on childcare though, my kids are teens now and my husband has always done at least his fair share, often more as I travel for work. He’s also very productive although funnily enough no one ever asks him how he gets it all done 🤨
I absolutely agree with the not spending that much time doing things you don't like! Productivity doesn't seem like a burden to me, because its really just doing my hobbies and exploring my interests. Its almost self indulgent when you look at it like that (!!)
...I haven't heard many men talk about the perils of having its all...