I’m Marrying a Man I Sometimes Hate, But I’m Pretty Sure That’s a Good Thing
Living with an intransigent partner is both an irritant and an inspiration. But acknowledging your significant other's pitfalls is a non-negotiable for successful long-term partnerships.
Fear for me not my friends, this story has a pretty good ending and I promise I won’t spend the next 15 paragraphs bashing my boyf (although I’m sure I could conjure the material if you really really twisted my arm). No, this piece is an exploration of what long-term partnerships are about and why when we reach half time on our planetary days, it’s worth remembering that many of our expectations were always wrapped up in ribbons of dust.
A couple of weeks ago, I went to a dinner party with a group of friends. There were five couples invited and everyone except my boyfriend accepted, making us an uneven nine. I am very happy to seek my enjoyment without my other half and I’m fortunate to have never been needy. But when I arrived, the first question was, understandably, ‘why couldn’t Hade make it?’ Agh.
So hard to know where to go with this one.
The basic truth is that he is very careful not to deplete his energy reserves and operates immovable boundaries when he’s decided there’s not enough juice in the tank. But it’s also true that he is similarly unbending when he can’t be fucked with something or someone. Sometimes he ducks out because he is protecting his mental and physical health, but sometimes it’s because he simply doesn’t want to go. He is a man who lives almost entirely without fomo and has zero tolerance for social presenteeism.
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