I have come to analyze my need to be the reliable person. I would do things even when I didn't want to in order to preserve some imaginary image. I would always look down on those who flaked and then noticed I wasn't getting anything extra for my efforts.
I think I might have been in situations before where this helped, but lately not so much. I think it's important on a case by case basis....knowing which these are I guess is a sign of maturing...
Thanks for this thought-provoking (and beautifully written, despite the late hour and fatigue!) piece. I’m coming from the opposite direction — I recently wrote about my compulsion to bail and how that’s eroded my friendships. About nine months ago, I committed to showing up to everything I’ve said yes to. It’s been pretty life-changing.
But I think I needed a different “push” than you. :)
I would add also one thing: never ever cancel plans with young parents/Mat leave mums last minute! your plans may be the only nice thing happening to her/them in a week, they have probably organised a lot of logistics around it, I remembered I felt so let down when this happened as I walk through the door (after an hour of planning the bag/feeding the kid before so he would nap, etc)
I have come to analyze my need to be the reliable person. I would do things even when I didn't want to in order to preserve some imaginary image. I would always look down on those who flaked and then noticed I wasn't getting anything extra for my efforts.
I think I might have been in situations before where this helped, but lately not so much. I think it's important on a case by case basis....knowing which these are I guess is a sign of maturing...
Thanks for this thought-provoking (and beautifully written, despite the late hour and fatigue!) piece. I’m coming from the opposite direction — I recently wrote about my compulsion to bail and how that’s eroded my friendships. About nine months ago, I committed to showing up to everything I’ve said yes to. It’s been pretty life-changing.
But I think I needed a different “push” than you. :)
I would add also one thing: never ever cancel plans with young parents/Mat leave mums last minute! your plans may be the only nice thing happening to her/them in a week, they have probably organised a lot of logistics around it, I remembered I felt so let down when this happened as I walk through the door (after an hour of planning the bag/feeding the kid before so he would nap, etc)
so extremely relatable! Have wonderful holidays, and meanwhile I'll be passing this one along and pondering these queries myself.
I feel this SO MUCH! My eyes are also bigger than my stomach - very good way of putting this
love this Katherine. I've been veryyyyyy flakey lately and it's made me have a think! xoxo