The description of a typical nightmare evening alone felt SO close to home! How is it that everyone seems to become a parent and get through this madness!! HOW DOES THE NATION EVEN EXIST?? I have to say I agree with asking less of myself during these times especially with food delivery of some kind to make sure I get my 5 a day but also I think doing what pleases us so important .. and also screw the nutrition sometimes it’s survival isn’t it. Occasionally I just eat their food and then get in to bed at 8pm 😂 . I’m comforted to think soon they will be bigger and it just will be easier mostly as they will be less of a danger to themselves … right?? Sending lots of love x
I love love loved this piece. Particularly your mum’s take on flex and also this bit:
“On my trickiest days, I took out my phone to send messages of love and support to the people that I care about, investing both in my community and shifting my mentality from panic to gratitude. Whenever I start thinking too much about myself, it is one of my in-the-minute tactics which always seems to help”.
Thank you for sharing. I’m a divorced mum of two boys, 5 and 4, and I have sole charge of then 90% of the time (with nanny help while I’m at the office). You really opened my eyes to the *anxiety* that really is at the root of the challenges of solo parenting. At night I lie in bed and try not to let myself ruminate too heavily on the enormous responsibility I bear - it’s too easy for my mind to ricochet from the existential fears to the merely (hopefully) improbable such as break-ins and injuries, and how to cope with it all alone. When I read about others struggling through, whether it’s other single mums or those with partners who travel, it reminds me I’m not actually doing it alone.
From one Chiswick (well, Acton) mum to another, THANK YOU for putting how I feel on the daily into such beautiful words. Sometimes I emerge from an evening of solo parenting feeling dazed, physically bruised and battle-scarred, like I've just participated in an SAS challenge. And I've only got the one, and he's not even two yet. You've nailed the sheer physicality and constant micro-decisions that can make or break a day of parenting so well. In a world of 'enjoy every minute', I truly appreciate your honesty ❤️
V relatable. Sometimes I even find saying something as simple as 'this feels so hard, because it IS hard' to myself in the mirror can be useful for me. (After screaming into a pillow and kicking the Lego tower angrily under the sofa, of course).
This was AMAZING. And in reading I realised I have all those anxieties floating around my head too at any time. Also your mum’s advice was pretty spot on. WE CAN DO HARD THINGS, but it doesn’t make them less hard. :-)
The description of a typical nightmare evening alone felt SO close to home! How is it that everyone seems to become a parent and get through this madness!! HOW DOES THE NATION EVEN EXIST?? I have to say I agree with asking less of myself during these times especially with food delivery of some kind to make sure I get my 5 a day but also I think doing what pleases us so important .. and also screw the nutrition sometimes it’s survival isn’t it. Occasionally I just eat their food and then get in to bed at 8pm 😂 . I’m comforted to think soon they will be bigger and it just will be easier mostly as they will be less of a danger to themselves … right?? Sending lots of love x
I love love loved this piece. Particularly your mum’s take on flex and also this bit:
“On my trickiest days, I took out my phone to send messages of love and support to the people that I care about, investing both in my community and shifting my mentality from panic to gratitude. Whenever I start thinking too much about myself, it is one of my in-the-minute tactics which always seems to help”.
Thank you for sharing. I’m a divorced mum of two boys, 5 and 4, and I have sole charge of then 90% of the time (with nanny help while I’m at the office). You really opened my eyes to the *anxiety* that really is at the root of the challenges of solo parenting. At night I lie in bed and try not to let myself ruminate too heavily on the enormous responsibility I bear - it’s too easy for my mind to ricochet from the existential fears to the merely (hopefully) improbable such as break-ins and injuries, and how to cope with it all alone. When I read about others struggling through, whether it’s other single mums or those with partners who travel, it reminds me I’m not actually doing it alone.
From one Chiswick (well, Acton) mum to another, THANK YOU for putting how I feel on the daily into such beautiful words. Sometimes I emerge from an evening of solo parenting feeling dazed, physically bruised and battle-scarred, like I've just participated in an SAS challenge. And I've only got the one, and he's not even two yet. You've nailed the sheer physicality and constant micro-decisions that can make or break a day of parenting so well. In a world of 'enjoy every minute', I truly appreciate your honesty ❤️
V relatable. Sometimes I even find saying something as simple as 'this feels so hard, because it IS hard' to myself in the mirror can be useful for me. (After screaming into a pillow and kicking the Lego tower angrily under the sofa, of course).
Loved this piece!! Parenting is brutal on occasions and blissful on others. Everything you wrote rings true.
This was AMAZING. And in reading I realised I have all those anxieties floating around my head too at any time. Also your mum’s advice was pretty spot on. WE CAN DO HARD THINGS, but it doesn’t make them less hard. :-)